As the song goes, “the waiting is the hardest part.”
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, we haven’t had much to report by way of an update on our progress lately. Our home study was completed and submitted to our placing agency for approval over a month ago. We finally received word that our home study is close to the top of the pile and awaiting review, though we do not know when that will happen.
Like so many parts of this process, waiting on the approval of our home study has been a test of patience and our trust in God. We have diligently worked to complete various forms, educational requirements, parental training courses, and the home study itself. However, we have discovered that the process involves quite a bit of hurry-up-and-wait. As anybody who has gone through an adoption can attest, there are various pinch points where it seems like everything grinds to a gut-wrenching halt. Despite our best efforts, there is simply nothing we can do to relieve the logjam.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12 (NIV84)
I would be lying if I said that we have always endured all of the waiting, the frustration, and the unknowns in the best way. There are days where we have allowed ourselves to go numb to the entire process and days where we have questioned what God really wants from us. We have let worry and doubt and anxiety creep in. We have forgotten God’s promises and relied on our own judgment and our own understanding and selfishly demanded that everything must happen on our time. Throughout this process we have again been reminded that we are not in control.
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
We are not in control of whether and when we are placed with a child, and as frightening as that is, it is also an amazing reminder that God has a specific plan for us and for our family. We have had to learn and relearn to pray, not worry. We have been reminded that we need to trust that God is moving all of the pieces in meaningful ways according to his purpose. Things we cannot see or understand right now are all adding up to the day that we come home with the child that we were always meant to have.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
For you adoptive parents who are stuck somewhere in the middle, keep going. Pray continuously. Trust God. He has a plan for all of us, and it is better than anything we could have imagined or planned for ourselves. Whatever happens in this life, we can be joyful in the hope of eternal life, earned by the perfect life, innocent death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Pro Gloria Dei.