We’ve been fairly silent the past few weeks. We apologize if you’ve been wondering where things are at with our journey. The truth is, we’ve had to deal with a really upsetting and frustrating roadblock in our adoption process.
We’ve struggled (at least I have) with how to articulate the rollercoaster that we’ve been on these past few weeks. There seems to be no combination of words to fully describe something so mentally and emotionally draining as the international adoption process. You’d think having gone through the infertility process that we’d be better at this, but this is a whole new kind of difficult. It is something that we are simultaneously trying to process and explain. More often than not, I do both of those things poorly. For those that have gone through an adoption journey, perhaps you can recall some of these same emotions and understand how difficult the process can be.
In our last blog post, we mentioned we were very close to having a completed home study. Two days after sharing that news, we were notified by our WI home study agency (different from our placing agency) that they were eliminating their international adoption program. Umm…what?! My stomach immediately dropped. This was a roadblock that we never saw coming. Sure…we had heard that countries sometimes temporary close down their programs and that is something that families unfortunately have to deal with, but an agency closing when families are in-process? It was the furthest thing from our minds.
After we got passed the initial shock we were faced with several scary questions:
- What does this mean for us and our home study?
- Do we need to start over from the beginning? (This is the point where I wanted to throw up and couldn’t stop crying.)
- Will you finish our home study? Will our home study even be valid?
- What if there are no other WI agencies that can take us? (A very important and critical question. We already knew the Hague-accredited agency pool in WI was incredibly small).
- How long are you keeping your Hague accreditation?
- Do we need to change countries?
- Do we need to find a new placing agency?
- Do we need to rethink international adoption?
- How many other families were affected by this decision?
- Are you trying to kill us?
The days and weeks following this decision from our home study agency have been incredibly scary and frustrating. There were so many unknowns (and still are). No one could give us a straight answer or a path forward. We immediately turned to God in prayer.
Our situation looked impossible to overcome. Then God worked another miracle for us.
Our placing agency (thank God for persistent people who actually care about children and families) was miraculously able to get the needed approvals for us to work with another placing agency in Wisconsin. (We are purposely leaving out some critical details in order to protect the privacy of all parties involved.) This was also the point when I couldn’t stop crying…there’s a lot of crying involved in this process…but this time it was a happy cry—a wave of relief that crashed over both of us.
The result is that we will finish our home study with our original home study agency and then we’ll transition over to our new Hague-accredited, placing agency-approved home study agency after our home study report is accepted. This was the best outcome that we could’ve hoped for when faced with this situation. We are so overjoyed that we are able to finish the home study that we originally started and that we don’t have to start the adoption process from the beginning. It was truly like a 300lb weight was lifted from our shoulders.
There may be some upcoming differences in our journey, but, for the most part, it shouldn’t affect our timeline too much. A huge sigh of relief. The good news is that we are moving forward once again and we are still on a path to bringing our child home.
Needless to say, it’s been an emotional few weeks in our home. We’ve weathered this current storm (only because of God’s pure grace) and we are starting to see clear skies on the horizon once again. In our home, we can once again walk past our nursery-to-be and be filled with so much joy and excitement for what is to come.
We continue to ask for prayers during this journey. Hopefully, we’ve been able to shed some light on how emotionally and mentally draining this process can be and just how important your prayers are to us.
We, in turn, pray that you’ll lay whatever is keeping you up at night at Jesus’ feet and that he’ll give you rest like he has for us.